Question Of The Day

A “friend” of mine made a comment on Facebook today that just plain irritates the shit out of me. Let me start by saying that I’ve written about this person before, as a concerned friend, but have since moved on to simply not having any respect for her whatsoever.

I’m not sure if it was the entire comment, the fact that she used the word “ironical”, or that the comment simply shows a severe lack of intelligence, a desperate need for attention, and severe issues, but whatever it is, I actually responded because it pissed me off so bad.

I do not look down upon people who live together, but are not “legally married”, as she so quaintly put it. A piece of paper isn’t what every single person on this planet needs, and some people are quite content in their relationships to not need a license, rings, and all that comes with a word, because at the end of the day, marriage means different things to different people. Many couples are together and saving to be able to pay for their wedding, or to purchase their first home, so the actual marriage part gets placed on the back-burner as they work and save. Being together and being committed is enough for so many, and it does not invalidate their love to not be “legally married”.

Marriage, from where I am sitting, is hard work. This particular person chose to marry someone who lives in another country. She sees him just a few weeks per year, if that. He has no plans to move to her country until he retires, yet she’s talking about having a baby. If you’re married and you do not live together, that is a choice you have made, for whatever reason. I, personally, don’t see a need to be married to someone I only see 2-3 weeks a year. That’s less than a booty call to me, truly. It’s not a relationship at all. Not unless that person is in the military.

To hear her talk about having a baby when he’s in one country and she’s in another is mind-blowing. I’m not sure if it’s simply a religious belief or pure ignorance, but if I want to be a single mother, I don’t need to be “legally married” with a husband in another country in order to do it and be respected. The warped, judgmental perspective astounds me.

Do you think people need to be legally married to live together or is it 100% ok to “live and let live”? I, personally, respect either decision on behalf of couples everywhere, but my God, if you’ve chosen to marry someone you’re not living with, don’t blame the rest of the world for your CHOICE. That’s not “ironical”, that’s idiocy. Yes, I’m feeling particularly harsh this week.

If Idiots……

If Idiots…

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.” ―Laura Davenport

*Unfortunately, I am related to most of them. The moment you realize you got all of the brains in the family is quite scary, for a second, and afterwards, liberating. However, it makes you roll your eyes having to explain things slowly to every idiot with a ridiculous comment. It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t do it publicly, in which case, I think we should all have the right to bitch slap them.*

Missing In Action…Of Cats And Men

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I’ve definitely been ‘Missing In Action’ for a bit, and for that I apologize. This is a particularly difficult time of year for me to start with, made harder by the fact that I’m going through some unhappy things in my daily life, and to add insult to injury, I am coming down with something. The severe temperature drop after the second round of snow hit me like a ton of bricks, and we’re about to get more snow. I was so completely out of it for a while, and I’m slowly trying to get myself back to a place of not wanting to sleep 18 hours a day. Top that off with the fact that I am showing signs of severe allergy to my kitten (Shh,. don’t tell her, she’d be heartbroken.)! The allergic reaction is slowly starting to heal, and I am praying that’s ALL it was, though I strongly suspect she was not fully treated for something at the shelter and I caught it. Lucky me! Who knew how many weird things could be passed from cat to human?! Normally I’m the one calling my vet to make sure I can’t accidentally give the cat whatever I happen to have. Setting aside the fact that I suffer from migraines and Fibromyalgia, I am actually pretty healthy, but every once in a while something weird rears its ugly head and knocks me out for a while. I have wanted to do nothing, but sleep and rest my pained body this week.

On an entertaining note, I get a phone call at 4:30 this morning from an, as yet, unidentified male in my life. I want to sell him on Ebay at this point, especially after this morning’s antics.

I have been utterly hounded by this person for the past three and a half days over what they should or should not wear to a job interview. How many times can one try on a suit for me with different shirts after I have repeatedly said “Solid white or cream colored shirt. Solid colored tie.” That’s the most simple, direct instruction in the world, right? With a black pinstripe suit, too many additional lines is overkill, yes?

At exactly 10:45 this morning, while I was sleeping no less, a striped white shirt and striped tie were unceremoniously shoved in my face with the question “These are good, right?” Why the fuck did you ask me AT ALL if you were just going to do what you usually do, which is NOT LISTEN?! I responded by saying, not in my most polite of tones, “I said to get a plain shirt and a solid colored tie. I said it repeatedly. What part of that did you not understand? By the way, I am SLEEPING. I will deal with you later.” I might have even said “Get the fuck out of my face right now.”, which is about as kind as I can be when you’re disrupting my sleep with nonsense that could have waited until I was my normal, functioning self. I admit, my “normal, functioning self” isn’t the textbook version of “normal”, but hey, he knows me well enough to know NOT to pull these stunts.

Men, I am going to give you severely important advice right now, so listen closely. Do not EVER ask a woman if she’s “on her period” simply because she doesn’t give you a sweet, loving response on no sleep. I’m not your mother. I do not have to pick out your clothes for you, wipe your ass, change your diaper, or anything else a mother would do for you. I am also NOT a bitch simply because you chose the wrong time to approach me with what is somehow SO unbelievably important that you feel the need to call me at 4:30 in the morning, later agreeing that I should go with you in a day or two to pick out the shirt and tie so that you will look nice, and then getting a hair up your ass and doing the wrong thing, only to wake me with said items about four inches from my face. The lines were so distracting, I’ve never seen a cat take off so fast in my life! She was laying here so innocently getting her beauty rest when, she too, is barraged by fashion. I haven’t seen the poor thing since!

In all honesty, I think she’s still scarred from the hour or so she spent in the laundry room this morning after my 4:30 phone call. I warned her not to follow me, I even shooed her out of the room several times as I was putting my stuff into the dryer. I went back to what I was doing after that, but about 40 minutes later, I couldn’t find her. I walked around calling for her, because she comes trotting in my direction from wherever she may have been or goes flying after me when she hears my voice. She doesn’t respond so much to her name, as she does to the fact that she hears me and knows she is being summoned to follow when she hears me say “Where’s Mommy’s baby? I can’t find you.” Or she just hears my voice and comes running for the sake of getting to run around like a hell hound, who knows.

Now normally, I don’t go back into the laundry room once the dryer is finished because I know my stuff is dry and these particular items did not need to be folded or require any immediate after care. I only went in because I’d washed one of my football jackets and wanted to be 100% sure that sucker was dry. I didn’t want to have to re-wash it because I walked away too quickly. Mind you, this little baby is still very small and does not have a real voice yet. She has a barely audible squeak, and you only hear it if she does it right at you or you are really quiet and happen to hear her voicing her issues, whatever those issues may be at any given moment. I opened the door and she came flying out, running into my arms for warmth and safety. The laundry room is the only unheated room in the house. My guess is that is the case because it was added on to the house, and is not a part of the original structure. This is precisely why I didn’t want her in there to begin with. There’s always something dangerous that someone so tiny can get into, and by the way she has been following me around since “the ordeal”, I’m praying she learned her lesson and will never do that again. I spent the entire time calling for her and honestly thought she was under the bed or in another room ignoring me, as she is wont to do at times. As loving, needy, sweet, playful, and affectionate as she is, she is also an independent seeker of trouble. I say “No!” roughly 100 times a day, or more. Now that I think about it, it’s similar to how I talk to unidentified male. Coincidence? I think NOT. On the plus side, at least she’s civilized.

Vicious, Vicious Mood

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Do bad days ever just turn into bad months, culminating in a series of moments where you realize that you’re experiencing a bad year, or possibly bad years, plural? That’s how I’m feeling right now and yet, people refuse to mind their own business, step back, and fuck off. I should be wearing a Do Not Disturb sign as a t-shirt because I am all sorts of pissed off and there’s just no getting around it. I wish I could say it was *just* PMS (sorry guys), but honestly, I think I’ve simply reached my limit for the next 10 years worth of idiocy, ignorance, stupidity, and douche-baggery.

I actually had someone start an obnoxious passive-aggressive “fight” with me via Facebook this week. If a person doesn’t speak to me at all for well over a year and a half and then proceeds to comment on my status with a “Hehe” (My God-daughter will be three in six months, and her vocabulary is far superior to that of an almost 40 year old woman. How sad is that?!), I am going to want to harm them. This is just plain fact, though most of the time I am very good at ignoring one’s idiocy, depending on how high you are on my friendship/love scale.

Pretending to be a “friend” wanting to “brighten my day” is bullshit. If a person wants to brighten my day, there are so many private ways to do that, you do not need to do it on Facebook so that others can think you’re a good person. Moreover, either I am your friend at all times or you can fuck off. There is no middle ground. I am not here for anyone’s amusement. I take my friendships and relationships seriously because honestly, why bother if you’re not going to be genuine?! Be real. Don’t pretend with me and then passively aggressively ask me if you’ve done something wrong. Yes, you’ve done something wrong. You’ve behaved like an idiotic jack-ass and even better, everyone on Facebook gets to see how childish you are and how curt I am in turn. When I tell a person that Facebook is not the time, nor the place for this, and that if they have something to say to me personally, to do so, that does NOT mean you ask me a question via Facebook messaging. It means you put on your big girl panties and send me an e-mail like an adult (this only pertains to friends overseas. If you live in the U.S. or Canada, pick up the fucking phone. I asked several people if I was wrong and they agreed with me, so I know I’m not being childish, petty, or dramatic.). And please, do us all a favor and don’t claim that I’m a treasured friend “regardless of the miles between us or how busy our daily lives are” (I’m paraphrasing here.) when I haven’t been a treasured friend in quite some time. In fact, do yourself a very big favor and un-friend me ’cause it’s very clear to me that we are not friends, as most people on Facebook aren’t any way, despite knowing each other for 18 years.

A formerly dear friend (who I will eventually blog about because after discarding me for a guy she barely knew three years ago, I need to get the situation off my chest before I show up at her front door and do her serious harm. That’s not a threat, it’s not often I feel such anger and hatred toward someone I once loved like a sister.) once told me that it’s ok to outgrow people and move on from friendships when they no longer work for you. She also said she believes in having closure and saying something to the other person, as opposed to just leaving them hanging (apparently not, but it wouldn’t be the first time a huge lie came out of her big trap!). I did not know if I agreed back then, but now I’m feeling like maybe she was right. Of course, maybe my tolerance level just isn’t up to snuff this week/month/year. Who knows? Who cares? Vicious mood shall remain vicious. I have a weekend full of sports to take out my hostility on.

I’ll be back with your usually scheduled insanity when my post-concussion nausea and dizziness subside. Does anyone have any ginger? This is NOT the time for me to run out of ginger tea. Note to self: Buy stock in Lipton.

Ebay

I have been an Ebayer for almost 14 years. In all those years, I’ve had very few problems with sellers and next to none with those that have purchased from me. Last night, nearing on 11:00 PM EDT, I receive an e-mail and a complaint registered against me for selling fraudulent goods. I just about flipped my lid. Well known for my fiery, passionate temper, I had to dial myself down and remind myself to be professional.

While I don’t doubt that plenty of people are selling fraudulent goods all over the Internet, I hold myself to a higher standard (much like Hebrew National Hot Dogs. If you’ve seen the commercial, you’ll get the joke). The things I sell are mostly on the health & beauty front. If I receive a set of items (anyone who’s ever bought Bare Minerals, Smashbox, Tarte, Mally, Josie Maran, etc. knows that the sets are often the most cost effective way to get the items you want for a lot less money than if you just buy one item.) and I only want to keep half of it, I turn around and sell the items that are too dark in color, or things I simply know I will never use. Lets say a set has foundation in it, but I already use a different brand, so I’d more than likely sell the foundation, or the blush, etc. By now you get the drift. I’m honest about it.

Sometimes I find myself in a pinch or I have buyer’s remorse on a purchase I have made, but have either lost the receipt or have gone past the return date on something. On occasion this happens to all women, and on occasion I have sold a purse or a piece of jewelry, something I’d held on to for a while, but eventually knew was taking up room, so I inevitably decided to put it up on Ebay and make back the money, sometimes taking a bit of a loss, and occasionally making a few extra dollars. It’s an honest way of doing things, yes?

So here I am, accused of selling a “fake ring” because the buyer clearly has some kind of buyer’s remorse and is blaming it on an article she read on the Internet, claiming the silver is not real, or some such nonsense. After leaving me stellar positive feedback where she raves about how the ring is beautiful and exactly as described, she now comes to me almost a month later and is making accusations, and of course Ebay is going to stand by the buyer, even if the buyer is lying. For the record, the one time I had an issue with a seller back in 2009, Ebay ruled in the seller’s favor. I had to go to my credit card company to get my money back.

The accuser sent me a message, claiming she had a question for me, and opened the complaint “by accident”. Anyone that’s been buying on Ebay for more than a year knows that you don’t open a case “by accident”, not when you’re accusing someone of something heinous.

I explained where she can find the marking inside the band that lets you know it’s the real deal. I don’t buy garbage, why would I sell something that isn’t real?! She e-mails be back saying I am 100% right, that she sees the correct markings, but the case remains open.

I am being given 3 days to work this out with her before Ebay automatically refunds her, which basically means she’s not only lying, but she’s also stealing a ring, and slightly under $80 from me.

Ebay needs to step up their Seller Protection policy. A seller with 100% feedback who has never had an unresolved issue with anyone should be given a little more respect, especially if you look and see that the buyer immediately left me feedback and was tickled with her purchase, and is now saying otherwise.

If this goes South, Ebay won’t be happy with me because I have a mouth and I’m not afraid to use it. I think it’s important to make sure the items you get are authentic, but I also think it’s important to have a brain and learn how to properly communicate with a person before you go around making false accusations against someone who has always been in good standing, simply because you read something on the Internet. If we all believed everything we read on-line, we would be a world full of nothing, but idiots.

Use your brain. Think for yourself, and be careful who you accuse of something, because this cheetah bites back.