Friendship -vs- “Friendship”: Sincerity or Malice?

Friendship -vs- “Friendship”: Sincerity or Malice?

If there’s anything I truly hate in this world, it’s people not knowing how to be decent friends. It takes two, truly. Both people have to be committed to the same cause, which is the core of the friendship and what it is built upon. Unfortunately, you will often find that the other person generally doesn’t know your intentions and you may not figure out theirs until it’s too late.

Throughout the course of my life I have had both friends and “friends”, and it’s fair to say that we all have. The latter are the bottom feeders in this world who only come to you with falseness in their hearts. They pretend to be genuine, but they’re either intimidated by you, scared of your strength, jealous of you, or never have good intentions towards anyone. Sometimes it’s a mass combination of all of the above, and so much more. They are the types of people that are 1000 shades of fucked up and, no matter how sweet, kind, entertaining, genuine, or funny they appear to be, they are hiding behind a facade and not only lying to you, but lying to themselves. They will seem selfless, but they’re selfish, self-possessed, and have cruelty and hatred residing within their souls, and they choose to take it out on people that do not deserve it, as opposed to directing it at those that do.

I can only use myself as an example here. I give a LOT to the relationships in my life. I don’t know any other way to be. Need advice? I’m your girl. Need help hiding a body? What body? No one will ever find it. I have helped friends whenever they have needed help, regardless of what that help entailed. I feel that is the right thing to do. I do not like seeing my friends struggle and suffer if I am in a position to do something about it. I will talk to you for hours about anything and nothing, and I will truly listen to you. I’m not on the other end of the phone rolling my eyes or making faces, I am fully engaged. I am loyal and I am devoted. In short, I know my worth and value in all things, but especially as a friend. It is one of the things in life I am most certain of.

A lot of missteps in friendship are based on poor communication. If you choose not to say something to someone when, and if, it bothers you, that is YOUR fault, not THEIRS. Take ownership of your short-comings. I have my own faults here too. Sometimes it will take me a few days, weeks, or months to call somebody out on something I feel was inappropriate, wrong, and/or offensive. I don’t allow disrespect. However, even if it takes me some time, I will still do it. I do not avoid confrontation, and I always feel better once I’ve clarified with someone what is, or isn’t, going on and how to come back to a good place. It doesn’t happen with every single friendship, sometimes a friendship has run its course, reached an end and that, too, is ok, but the effort still needs to be made.

If ever you want to end a friendship, as in all relationships, it is crucial to tell the other person. For one, it shows good manners and two, it brings closure to the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you were friends for three months, six months, a year, or if you’ve been friends for 30 years, have some fucking decency in your dealings with others, lest you gain a reputation for the way you handle your personal relationships. Especially with other women. I can assure you that women talk. If you’ve been a bitch to a woman and later become friends with someone she knows really well, she won’t hesitate to tell that friend exactly what your deal is. I’ve had more than one or two of my close friends warn me about other women, and they were always right. Thankfully, I wasn’t fully invested into the new people, so it wasn’t a big deal or the end of the world.

I always encourage people to communicate with me. If you don’t like something I’ve said, come to me and Spit.It.Out. Just be honest. You’re not sure what I meant by something? FUCKING ASK. Things like that frustrate me. I don’t like wasting my time with anyone, nor do I like it when people attach my name to bullshit stories that are fictional beyond words, and delusional by half.

If you have an issue with me, say it to my face. Be direct. Don’t run and hide like a toddler, and don’t tell lies. I may not be perfect, I’m certainly not winning any awards for warmth, fuzziness, or coddling, but at least I know what respect, loyalty, and real friendship is all about. Once I lose respect for you, you do not exist. If you close the door, I will put Wolverine’s adamantium claws on my end of the door so that if you ever try re-opening it, you get to hang on your own sword, and your own mistakes. That’s how it works. If you want to be someone’s friend, have honor and dignity. Unless you’re incredibly self-absorbed and shallow. I assure you, NO ONE wants a false friend.

Choosing to be a part of someone’s life as their friend is something so many take for granted. Extending the hand of friendship, to me, is a big deal. If you bite that hand, be prepared for what comes next. People often underestimate my nice factor, which I can tell you from experience, is limited. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want love and acceptance, be loving and accepting. If you want or need a certain thing in a friendship, as in any relationship, it is perfectly ok to ask for it. If you’re going through a rough time and you feel like you need a little extra emotional support, say so. Don’t expect everyone to be a mind reader, because the simple fact of the matter is, there’s no such thing as mind readers.

If friends or family treat you like shit and you always allow them to return to your life, you are allowing the behavior and accepting it. In fact, you’re encouraging the cycle to continue. Over time, you lose sight of what it’s like to be treated the right way. In the grand scheme, your acceptance of such negativity allows the chains to wrap around you. This extends to all relationships in ones’ life. Allowing bad behavior, accepting it, and never saying anything in response is encouraging it. If I, as your friend, have encouraged you to put your foot down and you ignore me, I lack sympathy when it continues to happen to you. Not because I’m a cruel person, but because you have been repeatedly given sound advice. I do not mince words and I do not suffer fools gladly. I mean what I say, unless I’m pissed, in which case I will probably say nothing until I cool off. If I am wrong and I know I am wrong, I will always apologize.

This was not written for any particular reason, so do not presume it is directed at you, the reader, in any way, shape, or form, except maybe in an advisory capacity. I’ve had this on my mind for a while and felt it cathartic to put it into action.

We have three different types of friends throughout the course of our lives, and in some instances, for many, many lives, until we learn our lessons and get it right. The different types of friends are “those for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. If you’re going to be the type of friend to me that I am to you, then you’re ride or die, and you are in my life for a reason and a lifetime. I will always be loyal and devoted to you. However, if you’re only sticking around long enough to use me, please, fuck off now, and take your insane monkeys with you.

If one person is a flake, don’t take it personally. If one person is over-sensitive and cannot handle the truth, then that person needs to work on themselves and letting them fly is the best thing to do when they refuse to listen. Not every friendship is forever, but maybe that’s because the ones that are, are so much more valuable, and are built on a solid foundation, as opposed to being built on one person’s immediate interests.

In closing, I am incredibly GRATEFUL for the lovely, talented, graceful, elegant, mature, beautiful on the inside and outside, kind, generous, hilarious, devoted, loyal friends in my life. I can count them on two hands, but quality is far superior to quantity. Some have been a part of my life for a short period of time, but are no less special to me. Many have been with me for 18-25 years and, despite our imperfections and character flaws, despite agreeing to disagree, we love each other, we care about each other so very much, and we’d do anything for each other. A friend recently told me that I have been there for her through EVERYTHING, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and she thanks God for me. Another told me how people are always using her, but that I am the bright spot in her life. In friendship, things should be positive. If they aren’t, detox yourself from the poison. You’ll find a lot of clarity there.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Hiding Behind A Computer…WordPress Harassment & What I Plan On Doing About It

Author’s Note: I was not going to finish this up until a month or so ago when additional news made it’s way to my ears. It pissed me off beyond words, and this is the result. If you’re generally offended by me, I strongly suggest leaving the page right now. For everyone else, please proceed.

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Hiding Behind A Computer…Wordpress Harassment & What I Plan On Doing About It

Several months ago a former friend accused me, a Jewish woman, of being a part of Kashrut slaughter of animals “in the streets”. For the uninformed, Jews do not slaughter animals in the streets. In fact, we’re incredibly civilized in regard to animal slaughter on a whole. We have laws we follow to the letter, providing we aren’t vegetarians or vegans, and as I have established in several other blog posts, I will never be a vegetarian or a vegan. I’m all about healthy balance. I love animals, yes, but I am not an extremist. I don’t have to make changes I don’t believe in, in order to make other people feel better about themselves.

Kosher slaughter entails very specific things. My Rabbi and my brother actually know a lot more about it than I do, and I do not want to nauseate anyone with the gory details. Suffice it to say, YES, I do believe it is more humane. NO, Jews do not “torture animals because we believe it makes meat taste better”. There may be in-fighting, disrespect, and discord amongst our own religious sects (I have most of them in my family, and there is definitive in-fighting. Try being told you’re “not Jewish enough” a few times, then tell me we’re all good to one another.), but our religion is not one for viciousness and evil, nor animal cruelty. For the record, she claimed Muslims do it too. I informed her how very wrong she is, and explained the laws both religions adhere to. Alas, truth often falls on deaf ears. However, since this former friend accused me and all Jews of “slaughtering animals in the street” (Thanks B, you’re a peach!), I decided I’m going to slaughter a pig today. Rabbi Stern, I love you, I respect you, it’s after sundown in Israel, and I’m wearing heavy duty metaphorical gloves.

I’m not sure when it happened, but it has been a slow progression for quite some time as the Internet has continued it’s seemingly never-ending expansion. However, I find this particular situation so distasteful that I have been writing this in my head for a few months. For me, the best work comes with time. I like to have all the facts, and I like to be clear. Gathering the facts was easy, but the why of it all is still a real mystery to me.

During that time period when I first began writing this, people continued to approach me about ONE “man”. Coincidence? I think not. I already had my suspicions, everyone else just helped reinforce it with additional proof that I was right. By the way, I use the term “man” so loosely I hope he can strangle himself with it. I’m happy to provide him with the rope he will need.

Certain types of people are way too comfortable on the Internet. I don’t know why hiding behind a computer gives anyone the right to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. We’re not talking about private thoughts, but things that are completely and utterly inappropriate, as well as out of line, disrespectful, rude… Lord, the list just goes on and on. I don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re drunk or sober: Don’t use anything as an excuse to be an asshole. Unless, of course, you ARE an asshole, and in that case, get the hell off the Internet and crawl into a hole with the rats where you belong, because not everyone here is scum.

Case in point: There is a snake charmer among us here on WordPress, trying to pass himself off as a decent human being. Every time I hear that, I have a hard time keeping a straight face. Who the hell knows what he’s like in his daily life, but on the Internet? He’s got some seriously questionable morals.

It’s not just the things he says and does, but the outrageous lies he tells, and the fact that his actions are vile, not to mention disrespectful, defamatory, outlandish, insane, and, in most parts of North America, would get his self-absorbed, self-important, psychotic ass into a lot of fucking trouble. He deserves to be repeatedly kicked in the nuts by women wearing spiked heels. If he is ever within 200 miles of me, he had better run. He fancies himself a real hard ass. I could not be any more unimpressed than I already am.

We each have our own blogs, which is 100% OUR domain. We can control what we post, what we discuss and share, and what gets said to us, as well as to our readers. Unfortunately, when someone starts blogging about you on their blog, in a completely defamatory manner, and they are hiding behind a “good guy” facade, not to mention an enormous lie, what recourse does a person have? Short of suing them or teaching them an evil lesson, we’re not left with a lot of options. Especially if they go under the guise of not naming names. Proof would be hard at that point, but there are other things that can be done, and should be done to protect bloggers within the community.

The person I am talking about surrounds himself with a harem of sycophants (Trust me, that is me being incredibly polite.), all of whom ply him with sympathy, thus making him feel he is superior to the rest of us. It’s vomit-worthy. He’s so full of shit, I have no idea how oxygen travels through his body. Maybe it doesn’t. It would certainly explain one thing, but it by no means explains it all. A little research clues you in on the fact that, they too, are also full of crap. Maybe not all of them, but most. It’s a scary little world, let me tell ya.

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The women he has said inappropriate things to, myself included, is not a small number. In the past few months, many have come to me and brought him up as the perpetrator of one thing or another. If there was something I could do, aside from writing this, I would. This takes me back to my heyday, where I’d simply say “I’ve got a 9mm and a shovel, and no one would miss him.” That woman is deeply imbedded in who I am. In an instant, I return to the person that kicked down doors, kicked anyone’s ass that required a kicking, and always took note of names.

Several of the harassed parties have gone to WordPress and asked them to do something about this person, and they have refused. If that’s how they want to play it, fine. I am doing something about it. I am forming a petition so that no woman has to deal with sexual harassment on a WordPress blog ever again. Men can SAY they’re being “sexually harassed” on this site, but I have found that to be a complete and utter LIE.

If you’re married, don’t engage women in “on-line flings” and then claim you’re the innocent bystander. That is such bullshit, and you know it. Putting a stop to something is as simple as saying “I am happily married and I am not going to speak to you anymore.”, and actually NOT speaking to that person ever again. If you’re a woman engaging in an “on-line fling”, especially if you know the other person is married, take a good, long look at what you’re doing before you pretend to be the innocent party. Sending men nude photos of yourself and engaging in cyber-sex is still sex, especially if you’re cheating on a sleeping spouse or partner. If you’re both single, do what you will, but don’t come crying to other people when your “fling” inevitably ends, or worse, goes public on the Internet. Keep in mind that you don’t KNOW the other person. It’s just words on a computer screen. Discussions are simply discussions, unless it’s emotional cheating on at least one side. There is a difference. Thoughts that go unverbalized do not count as cheating, period, but when a person says certain things to you and you are speechless, I honesty can’t say for sure if you’re encouraging it or not. Unless you started it, my theory is, no. However, telling a person “I am not comfortable with where this has gone.” and ending all further contact does not make you a bad person, or anything else, regardless of how the other person chooses to spin the tale afterward.

None of us truly honest ladies deserve to be Internet stalked by a person we have put in their place, nor should we continue to be annoyed or made to feel like we have somehow done something wrong simply by lending a kind ear, as opposed to the outlandish story that was told in place of the truth. There actually is a lot of kindness here, but no one has the right to abuse that kindness.

The petition I am drawing up is calling for WordPress to offer a block feature, or a block button, for individuals that we do not want to read or comment on our work. Whichever they are willing to provide us with, we will gladly accept. This should be a standard option (I am willing to pay $10 a year for this as a feature, if it cannot be provided for free. I think that’s a fair price.), and we are the ones that get to activate it based on a person’s comments and behavior, and it gets triggered based on the ISP address of each harassing S.O.B., because when they log-on, they cannot read or comment on our work. Even if they aren’t logged on, their ISP address is blocked. If they do not interact with us, we can’t use it. If they belittle us, insult us, and insult our readers, then yes, we have immediate recourse to use it and shield ourselves from such a person, whomever they may be. If a person has to be blocked from your blog, that’s pretty fucking sad, but it’s also necessary. Many of us have to consider our safety above all else. I have heard others talk about a need for this, and I am in complete agreement with them. We should all feel comfortable and safe here because it is ours, not someone else’s. No one has the right to step into your world, insult you and be disrespectful, nor should they be able to criticize and accuse you of things that are 100% untrue. People in glass houses should not throw stones, and since I was recently blogged about, let it be known that I’ve got bigger, heavier bricks and I’m happy to throw them back. One of my Uncles’ was a former pitcher: I don’t throw like a girl.

The person I am talking about is, by far and large, not the worst offender on here, that goes to someone else who was recently taken down by one woman speaking up and speaking out. http://calamityrae.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/outing-eric-robillard-le-clown-the-magnificent-the-predator-with-the-red-nose/ Bravo to her. I do not know her, but I support her 100%. A lot of others came out of the woodwork after she spoke out, and basically, he was completely run off.

Unfortunately, the snake charmer is no better, and that is why I am writing this. This little pig needs to be slaughtered and I am here, knife poised, ready to do the job. Keep fucking with me little piggy, keep attacking my friends, keep pretending you’re a good person, keep blogging about us and claiming things that are not true. There is no excuse big enough that you can use to combat all the things you have done to so many different people because we’ve all got similar stories. I am NEVER surprised when someone else comes to me and your name is mentioned. You think you have friends, but people TRUST ME. THAT is friendship, you piece of shit. When you violate a person’s trust, you deserve to be publicly castrated. Be advised that anyone that comes to me privately and asks who I am writing about will be told precisely who I am talking about, and you will lose more little lambs from your flock.

Just because someone disagrees with you, is polite, but firm, and doesn’t kiss your ass does not mean you need to blog about them in a negative connotation. Not everyone is going to fall for your shit, and from what I have gathered in terms of intel, you are losing the battle. You’ve messed with people I care about, but your biggest mistake was messing with me. I am NOT a nice person when you push me, I do NOT eat bullshit politely with a knife and fork, and I do not take kindly to outright disrespect and blatant lies. You pretend to be this nice, kind, caring person, but all you want is followers to agree with you. You have crossed lines with me that no sane person would ever dare cross, and whether you realize it or not, you have completely and utterly disrespected the family you claim to love so much with your lies and deceit.

Take care of yourself and those within your own home, and stop worrying about people you do not know and will never know. None of us have any interest whatsoever in such a lower life form.

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You targeted several friends of mine and tried to cut them down. Guess what? You’re the talentless one here, and you are the one who whines, complains, bitches, and uses other methods of attention-seeking behavior to try to garner sympathy and support because you cannot stand to be rejected or ignored. It’s called Narcissistic Behavior. I am also positive you suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, and I strongly suggest you seek treatment for it. Being subjected to your nonsense is a clear-cut method to losing every last ounce of one’s brain cells. Be gone, before someone drops a fucking house on you. And truly, that would be a vast improvement.

I have absolutely no idea who died and make you some kind of “blogger of the world”, but on top of being talentless, you have absolutely no right to go around insulting other bloggers, especially female bloggers, and telling them they’re not good enough to be bloggers (Did someone make you royalty? NO. Did anyone make you a decent writer? FUCK NO. You can barely spell. Try taking a course on proper spelling and grammar, not to mention punctuation.), nor do you have ANY right to go around hitting on women, and then claiming that’s not what you did. There is proof to the contrary, so what lie are you going to tell to attempt to cover that up? My recommendation? Run and hide like a certain Clown that was publicly outed, and rightly so.

I had no interactions with Eric (Le Clown) whatsoever, but my intuition always prickled whenever his name came up. I was never surprised whenever someone was telling me something negative about him. He’s gone, and for some reason you now think you can step into his predatory shoes? You’re utterly disgusting. For nearly a year you were playing yourself off as a nice person to me, and then you made the grave mistake of outing yourself as something completely different. Not once, not twice, not three times, not even four times, but a grand total of five times. I kept it to myself, and slowly, but surely people started coming to me to warn me and inform me of exactly what you are, and what your game is. Not once was I shocked or surprised. Even better, everyone has proof, including me. You can try and call one person a liar, but a group of us? NO. And before you do try it, I say GO FUCK YOURSELF.

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I do not know what your exact problem is (I have ideas, but I am a lady, after all.), but you need to learn how to treat women. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, then you absolutely don’t do it on the Internet. Who the hell raised you, a pack of rabid hyenas? Maybe you weren’t hugged enough as a child, maybe your mother didn’t raise you right, maybe you had an absentee, fucked up father, but whatever the problem was in your formative years, you, yourself are responsible for what becomes of you after age 18. Yeah, that’s right. We cannot blame our parents for every single fucking thing that happens to us in our lives, not unless we are 100% living under their thumbs, and even then, remove yourself from the situation, get into therapy, and take control of your own life.

I strongly suggest you grow a pair of big boy balls and get over yourself. I also recommend a full psychiatric evaluation to make sure you don’t have multiple personalities because I can attest to the fact that you did not start off as some twisted psychopath, but you have certainly become one. I actually liked the first personality, but whoever you are now is truly worthless beyond words, and an embarrassment to the world at large. Maybe you already know that and that’s why you behave the way you do, however, none of it is an excuse.

If you have anything to say to me, I suggest you do so directly. If I don’t respond, it’s probably because you don’t deserve more from me than silence, and a broken jaw. You don’t just owe me an apology, you owe a lot of people an apology. I, personally, am not willing to accept it. If you say anything even slightly veiled about me on your blog, or about any of my friends, you will be hearing from my attorney. Keep your absurd stupidity to the already mentally incapacitated people you share it with. I wish them luck, because Lord, do they need it.

WordPress, you’ll be hearing from me about my ideas after I further consult with my group about precisely what it is we’d like in order to protect ourselves from assholes like the one I had to write about today. I will be formally filing a complaint with you about him, and I hope that if others do the same, you will boot him off this site for good. He does not belong here amongst the good people that aren’t harming anyone, that are, in fact, producing some fantastic material and deserve to be awarded and rewarded for their efforts.

There is something seriously wrong with this “person”. I hope he gets the help he needs, and that’s honestly about as kind as I will ever get again in regard to this pseudo-monster.

To those that are involved in this crap, I’m sorry for that. None of you deserve it. Thank you for trusting me with this situation, and allowing me to handle it to the best of my ability. Thank you for knowing that what was being said was lies, and for knowing exactly who to trust in matters such as this. We are united, and no snake charming mother fucker is going to come between that. I will turn him into a barrel of monkeys before I let that happen.

Anyone that wants/needs to come forward, I am sure you have my contact information. Do not hesitate to let me know what happened so that I can further the case with WordPress. Anything we can all do will help make this the place it once was, and should still be. There are enough predators in this world and on the Internet, they do NOT need to be here.

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The opinions and concerns expressed in this post are copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino. The humor expressed is simply me being me. If you don’t like what I’ve said, please don’t read it. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

If you’re going to reblog this, make sure my copyright notice is attached. Grazie!

Why I’m Sick Of Hearing About “The A-Rod Scandal”: The Playing Field Is A Witch Hunt

Why I’m Sick Of Hearing About “The A-Rod Scandal”: The Playing Field Is A Witch Hunt

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As a native New Yorker who is also a die-hard Yankees fan, many people have been asking me about Major League Baseball’s decision to suspend Alex Rodriquez for 211 games due to the information provided to them by the former owner(s) of Biogenesis. Initially I wasn’t going to write about this, but as things have progressively gotten nastier in the media, I have decided to do so.

When the subject initially came up and I vaguely considered writing about it, my brother & I were discussing it on an almost daily basis and since he & I were completely in sync with our feelings on the subject, I felt like it was one I could handle with relative ease.

A slightly unknown fact about me is that, in the past, I’ve worked for a baseball player, so I feel like I can speak on this subject without it being an immense issue. Please be advised that I am writing MY views and opinions and while you may share in them, you may also firmly disagree. You’re entitled to your feelings and opinions, and if you want/need to express your views, please do so on your own blog(s), don’t bombard me with hate filled rants simply because our opinions do not mesh. If you want to debate with me like a rational human being, by all means, there is a comment button. I’m very cool when it comes to discussing a veritable motley’s crew of things, but I will not tolerate rudeness. Disagree, for it is your right to do so, but be respectful.

Moving onward…

Obviously people are full of their opinions in regard to this subject, most especially people that aren’t Yankees fans, or even baseball fans for that matter, which is more than a little disturbing, and is often one of those moments when “freedom of speech” starts to get on my nerves. It is in times of this nature where I often want to start suturing people’s mouths shut and taking away their smart-phones and laptops. This is when the assholes all come out from their caves. I find I have little tolerance for it.

I’ve always been supremely fair whenever I write about things like this. Up until a few months ago, I knew very little about this in its entirety. I knew only that Alex was being accused of something serious, but I did not know if he’d truly done anything warranting more than a mere investigation, or what the true nature of it entailed. I figured the worst they’d do was hand down a suspension of 50-75 games and fine him. I was ok with that because, based on the accusations, that’s really all that was warranted. Fine him, suspend him, but for God’s sake, he is NOT an animal to be slaughtered or a person to be stoned. It’s baseball, it’s not the end of the world.

I’m still not 100% sure he did anything because the facts are not sitting in front of me to be analyzed. There are no documents here, no physical proof of a damn thing, no medical reports, no financial documents, just the things Major League Baseball is spewing and spreading to the press like a disease. The more they talk to the media and spread various things to news outlets, the more I feel like it’s a smear campaign. I’ve seen this done to another athlete before when he questioned a team doctors’ misdiagnosis of something very serious, something that nearly got him killed. Incidentally, Alex told a doctor he did not trust him because he never informed him of damage to his hip during the 2012 playoffs, an injury that was severe enough to require off-season surgery. Can you blame him?! I’d have been all over that doctor like white on rice. The treatment the previously aforementioned athlete received by “daring” to question a team’s medical staff enraged me, so maybe some of that anger will creep into this piece and if it does, so be it.

For anyone to ask him to turn over all of his medical records, a request that was supposed to go to his lawyers and was “accidentally” released to the media is another load of shit completely disrespectful and if I am not mistaken, it is a complete and utter HIPAA violation to make such a request. He doesn’t have to give up his rights, tell you his life story, or have any more of his life dragged through the mud to appease anyone. 

Despite all kinds of drugs being wide-spread across every professional sport, and anyone scoffing at that statement is either lying to themselves or has been lied to, I see no visible evidence that he has been on performance enhancers during his tenure as a Yankee. He’d be playing a much better game all around if he were, and that’s a very simple fact. If you’re taking drugs that are meant to enhance your natural athletic abilities, then you’re not constantly missing fielding opportunities or constantly striking out. In my family, a missed fielding opportunity is called “an Alex Rodriquez”, I kid you not. There were kids in the Little League World Series playing better third base than I’ve seen from him in years. Should we drug test them too?

The suspension itself is grossly excessive. As a first time offender who openly admitted to taking performance enhancing drugs while he played for the Texas Rangers, I feel like this whole thing is coming ten years too late. You didn’t have a league drug policy back then, but seriously, that’s your big excuse?! If you were going to suspend him, shouldn’t you have done it when he was testing positive repeatedly for PED’s in 2003, policy or no policy?! Because that makes sense, this however just seems like a witch hunt, and that’s exactly what it is. Alex is the biggest name in baseball on the list of players linked to Biogenesis and performance enhancing drugs right now. Trying to make a public example out of him, and accusing him of naming all the other players currently on suspension, is a load of shit. How is he personally responsible for all of their poor decision making along with, maybe, his own?

He has openly stated that he has not used anything since 2003, and that when he did, it was based on pressure to perform due to the $250 million dollar contract the Rangers bestowed upon him, along with all their hopes and dreams of winning a ring. If Alex was batting above his shoe size right now, or above average for him, I’d say they need to be testing him every day and twice on Sunday, but he’s not. If anything, his performance over the past seven years has done nothing, but rapidly decline. I think that has more to do with age and the burning out of the body than anything else. Compare him to other players of his caliber that are in the same age bracket, and there are very few of them that have not taken PED’s at one time or another (whether they will admit to it or not, and the temptation to do so is always there. I’m not saying every single great player in any sport is on such drugs.), and fewer that are playing like they’re 25 when they’re pushing 40.

I both understand and find myself lacking respect for the Yankees organization for the way they have handled the situation publicly. You’re paying this man an outrageous sum of money to play for you, yet the second a hint of a scandal comes out, you’re jumping ship, openly discussing trading him, there’s media speculation (clearly SOMEONE is talking to these people!) that they will try terminating his contract so they can save money on the luxury tax fine the league places on them for being over the salary cap each year (which I am sure is more than made up for in ticket sales and merchandising), and just plain being snide and incredibly disrespectful in the handling of all of this.

Playing Devil’s Advocate for a second, if the roles were reversed and it was Derek Jeter being accused of this, the entire organization would be up in arms. They’d defend him to the death, or they’d cut him and let him bleed on the field. That’s how it works. You may be a part of a team, but at the end of each day, you are still expendable. It’s a business. Even if it means they have to find five people to “replace” you, they will all sleep like babies regardless. They really don’t care how it looks, sounds, or how it affects your reputation. They will send you out like a lamb to slaughter. I’ve always found it incredibly disgusting.

Playing in New York is very different from playing in Tampa, St. Louis, or Kansas City. While most major cities are behind their sports clubs with a ferocious passion, New York fans are supportive, passionate, and, at times, slightly rabid. I can’t tell you how many times I have personally threatened to rip a pitcher’s arm off and beat him with it for screwing up a game. In the same vein, if the team had been hitting, maybe it wouldn’t have looked like such a major fuck-up on his part, whoever “he” may have been at the time. I love David Cone, but when it was time for him to retire, I was sad to see such a brilliant pitcher lose his arm to the extent that he did. However, I didn’t want him out there risking further injury either. I respected his decision. If ever he was on a performance enhancing substance, you would not have been able to tell because he was both consistent and inconsistent in his outings. The same can be said for so many players in so many different sports. No one is perfect every single time and no one wins every single time either.

On a whole, I think baseball players are placed under incredibly heavy microscopes that athletes in other sports aren’t placed under. I’m not saying that is always the case, but in many respects, it absolutely is. There is always going to be some younger ace that they can sign for less money until they have to really start paying up. Considering that the average MLB salary was $480,000 just last year, compared to what Alex makes, it’s an immense payroll savings for the Yankees to have five players making half a million dollars, as opposed to what Alex makes on a seasonal basis. Do the math. To the Yankees it’s “more money, more problems”. Until there’s solid proof in front of all of us, not just media bullshit, judge not lest ye be judged.

For the record, I am not saying it is right to take drugs of any kind. I’ve never taken drugs in my life. I am a former athlete, I have worked for more than one professional athlete, and I’m 100% against them in all forms. When you’re in the public eye especially, you have to be careful in this day and age of cell phone cameras and people recording conversations and video that they have no business recording. You end up being treated as public property, which is unacceptable, but apparently this country doesn’t have a lot of laws to protect you, which i find disgusting.

If you’re in the public eye, have the common sense to keep your nose clean. No drugs, no drunken bar fights, no sex tapes, don’t fucking cheat on your husband/wife/partner, no beating your husband/wife/partner/children, no nude photos “accidentally” leaking onto the Internet, and for God’s sake, do NOT be a douche-bag when you’re being interviewed. Be direct, be terse if you must, but don’t be a blatant asshole because it really makes you look like someone people want to steer clear of, not support and cheer for. No one wants to pay hard-earned money for their children to cheer on a complete and utter jackass. I’ve seen how some baseball players act when they think no one is paying attention. Some of the batting practice and warm-up behavior is disgusting beyond words. I will never forget my personal reaction to a former player’s behavior towards his own hometown fans in Philly. I wanted to throw a bat at him. I won’t name name’s, even though I really want to, but I can say that I lost every ounce of respect I had for him in how he was treating kids that merely wanted a wave or a ball thrown their way. The look on my face said it all, and after that incident, I just couldn’t look at him as a decent person any longer. You’re standing around doing nothing, the least you can do is brighten a child’s day with a wave in their direction or by signing a few autographs. It’s what you’re supposed to be doing as a person placed in the position of role model, be an adult about it.

If you’re an athlete, know that PED’s break your body down so badly that it is almost guaranteed that you will die young. It will destroy your bones, enlarge your heart, and cause other problems as you get older. You may feel like a God in the moment, but you will live with severe regrets the second you are no longer in your sport of choice. If and when you ever test positive for said substance, or you’re considering “trying something out to help give you an edge”, just think of Lance Armstrong. People adored, respected, and revered this man until the blood doping scandal was a fact he admitted to. He was then stripped of all the accomplishments he’d achieved, and publicly humiliated his sport, family, friends, and fans. That is not something anyone should aspire to.

I know this might come off sounding like I’m the biggest Alex Rodriquez fan (I refuse to call a grown man A-Rod) and/or supporter, but the truth is, it’s been years since I’ve truly liked him. However, I noticed a shift during Sunday Night Baseball a few weeks ago when the Boston Red Sox pitcher for that evening’s game (whose name escapes me, because he was completely unmemorable, but clearly a dick. I refuse to look it up and mention him by name because he’s an undeserving dirt-bag. I am glad to hear he was suspended for what he did.) had the sheer gall to hit Alex during the 4th pitch of the 2nd inning. Throwing the ball behind his leg was enough with the first pitch, backing him off the plate was fine, but hitting him in the ribs? Not fucking cool!! Alex was so calm, collected, and reserved, which made me proud of him, but I just about lunged off my couch, hostility raging, as if he’d just personally harmed my brother. I said some pretty vile things that night, all of which I own (and won’t repeat here). When Alex hit that home run in the 6th inning, it was basically him pissing on the pitcher’s mound at Fenway Park, and I was proud & thrilled. That’s when i realized that I do indeed support him.

All this crap is going down and it continues to spread daily like wildfire, but I’m going to choose to remember Alex when he first started playing, because he was a sweet kid then and even though he’s clearly got some questionable morals and ethics, that’s really none of my business. I am not married to him, I do not share children with him, and I don’t have to live with him. How he plays the game, represents his team, and treats his fans? That matters. If he’s guilty, he’s going to have to suck it up and serve his time, though I hope for a reduced suspension. If he’s found not guilty of all these accusations, I don’t ever want to hear anyone utter a bad thing about him unless he goes out and shoots animals and small children, ok?

For those of you that want to see the man hung out to dry, ask yourself if you’d want your child treated that way before you start throwing stones.

alex-rodriguez-peds-4c5c99448fe90587

I’m going to support Alex, whether he is guilty or not. If he is guilty, the only person he harmed is himself. He hasn’t harmed baseball or affected the future of the game, and for anyone to say that is just plain ridiculous. There will always be drugs in professional sports. Anyone who denies that is in for a seriously rude awakening. No sport is 100% drug free. If he’s not guilty, I want every player that’s been Tweeting in judgement of him (and a long line of comedians who have been using him as their public punching bag) to be lined up to kiss his ass.

If this had never been made public, no one would be psycho-analyzing his every move, every word, his on-field performance, his injuries, his off-field behavior, or anything else. He would simply be the third baseman of the New York Yankees, one of the most hated and beloved franchises in all of sports. Criticize him all you want, he’s made his money, he has a World Series ring, and he earned every single Gold Glove at shortstop. He’s always been a talented player. If ever that was enhanced by PED’s, so be it. Because if ever it was, he won’t be the first and he certainly won’t be the last.

The Real Problem with Abercrombie & Fitch—How Jeffries’ Message Hurts Us ALL

Had to re-blog this and share with everyone because this is exactly how I feel, and I’m offended by this attitude from ANY brand. There’s a fine line between defining your demographic and publicly shaming everyone over a certain size. That’s disgusting and deplorable. It also probably explains why I never see anyone going into A&F EVER!

Kristen Lamb's Blog

I wasn’t going to blog at all this week. Have been taking a break and refueling. But when I came in from being away for a week, one of the first articles I saw was regarding Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael Jeffries’ “marketing campaign” for the preppy clothing line (quoted in the meme above).

Jeffries isbeing hailed by some marketing experts as a brilliant visionary, but I wonder how he would be perceived if he was excluding people of color or sexual orientation. What would people think if he only wanted “white kids” or “straight people” wearing his clothing line?

Don’t get me wrong, A&F has the right to define their demographic, but we as consumers have a right not to buy clothes from such an uncreative designer that has such a warped vision of beauty and a skewed sense that Skinny=Popular & Cool. Even Perez Hilton weighed…

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Ah, Finally! …

Ah, Finally!

“There are two kinds of friendship: the beneficial friendship and the erroneous friendship. The erroneous friendship balances on the principle of “The closer we are, the more okay it is for me to say anything I want to you and for me to treat you any way that I want to, and for me to disrespect you and take advantage of you.”, while a true friendship is rooted in this principle: “The closer we are, the more respect I have for you, the better I will treat you, the higher I will regard you, the more good things I will wish for you.”

You will know someone is a true friend by basis of observing their actions towards you as the friendship grows deeper. A true friend will continue to hold you in higher and higher regard, while the error of a friend will see your goodwill and newfound fondness as basis to do and say whatever he/she wants, that is disrespectful and non-beneficial to you.”  ―C. JoyBell C.

Dedicated to my true girls: Marion, Shani, & Stefanie and to my new girls: Britt, Dawn, & Lillian. Friendship in any form is never an excuse to treat people as less than they deserve to be treated.

Finally, someone said everything I have been thinking! This is a terribly screwed up world we live in where we preach acceptance, but offer none. Judge people based on how they treat you, nothing else.

Lucy’s Football

I was a skinny kid. Photos of me from back then are all pigtails and smeary glasses and I’m usually covered in mud. And I’m sometimes brandishing things like frogs or buckets of mucky water, for whatever reason. I probably had a plan for those buckets. Maybe I was going to put the frog in them. I don’t know.

Then puberty hit. You can’t fight science, people. I come from hearty peasant stock on both sides of my family. Dad’s side are all, in his words, “built like tops – big on the top, skinny on the bottom.” (I attempted to explain to him that’s not exactly how tops work, and also we don’t spin very well, but he was all “WE ARE LIKE TOPS!” so who am I to argue with him?) and my mom’s side are all built like the Goddess of Willendorf. Curvy doesn’t even begin to…

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