Veteran’s Tragic Suicide Note Leaves CNN Host Speechless, Forgive Me This Is Tough
*Yet, I get condemned for stating the obvious. No one should EVER have to feel this way and I agree, the medical community is afraid to treat thanks to the DEA’s fear tactics. I’ve had two of my treating physicians paid visits by them for barely prescribing pain medicine to migraine and pain patients. How is it wrong to give a patient 5 pills because she’s moving to a new state and you don’t want her to end up in the Emergency Room? It is wrong to be a doctor and NOT be able to treat your patients as you see fit. After medical school and completing your residency, you’re licensed to be able to prescribe medication and, most importantly, help people. If you’re being crippled by the government, you might as well NOT go into such immense debt to become a physician.*
Я люблю тебя всем сердцем.
Ya lyublyu tebya vsem serdtsem.
My pain has hit an all-time high. I can’t sleep, I’m struggling like a motherfucker right now to just “be”. It’s a struggle and a half, and I’ve had enough. I’m really, truly, sick and tired of this illness. In times like this, it’s harder and harder to be strong and be myself.
Rethinking Mental Illness
I came across this and I do agree that we need to talk about it. It needs to stop being treated like something we can only speak of in hushed tones. The increased rate of suicide in people being treated for various forms of depression has drastically increased over the last few years, and yet, when you tell a doctor or a therapist that you think of suicide often and that you have a plan, they don’t take you seriously unless they believe you need to be hospitalized. The truth is, if someone is going to follow through on suicide, they aren’t going to discuss it with anyone. It’s a very personal, private thing.
I lost someone very dear to me to suicide 20 years ago. One of my brother’s best friends committed suicide eight years ago, less than a year after being discharged from the Army Rangers. I have very close friends that have lost siblings and other family members to suicide, so I don’t find it a laughing matter in any capacity. I, myself, am extremely open about these topics and I discuss them at length in the most direct fashion possible. I detest the stigma placed upon people who suffer from depression, and the labels and whispers that follow in their wake. It enrages me.
Don’t be afraid to get help or to talk about what you feel. Be afraid if you don’t talk about it.
“Sometimes,” says a fellow depressive, “I wish I was in a full body cast, with every bone in my body broken. That’s how I feel anyway. Then, maybe, people would stop minimizing my illness because they can actually see what’s wrong with me. They seem to need physical evidence.” ―Sally Brampton
“I’m the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible…” ―Elizabeth Wurtzel
I don’t think there’s a single symptom I’d define as “pleasant”. Constantly being in pain and suffering through your days is an unacceptable way of life. We need better pain management and medications available to us, especially those without horrendous side effects.
To Understand Or Not Understand…
“Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, ‘I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are.’ They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about ‘If you loved me you would.” ―Elizabeth Wurtzel