Thanksgiving is days away and I’m going to do my shopping tomorrow (I have been in far too much pain today to actually psych myself into it. I was also far too drained to focus on anything other than staying in my PJ’s and not going out in 22 degree temperatures. I’ve wanted a nap since a little after 9:00 this morning. I’m seriously eating dinner and going to bed as soon as humanly possible.), which is unusually late for me, but I have a list and I’m sticking to it, even though it’ll be crazy in the store no matter what.

I honestly don’t think I’ve made a Thanksgiving meal in about 6 or 7 years. It’s been long enough that I simply don’t remember the last time I did it (though I do know that my father was in the hospital at the time), but this year I decided that, despite only cooking for a few people, I’m not making ten plus pounds of turkey for anyone. It’s a lot of food, food that will absolutely go to waste because no one around here eats dark meat (Based on personal preference, nothing more. ), so I am going to re-vamp the menu slightly, but I’m still going to make stuffing because I’m craving it and it’s one of the most awesome things about Thanksgiving in terms of food.

Everyone makes stuffing differently, providing they make it at all, as everyone likes different side dishes this time of year. I don’t know anyone that makes stuffing the way I do, but I inherited the recipe from my mother and it’s good enough that I will pass it down the generational line because there is no way in the world this chick is genetically producing children that can’t cook.

I’m keeping things healthy by including a salad, even if I’m the only person that eats it. Truth be told, I like to tear up my turkey or chicken and throw it right into a salad, even on Thanksgiving. I do not feel guilty about food EVER, but I especially don’t like bringing food issues of any kind to the table during the holidays.

So, I’ve got a nice meal planned, there will be plenty of leftovers, but I’m completely sidelined and baffled by dessert. For the last couple of years I’ve ordered pies and cheesecake for the holidays from a local Italian bakery. I’m not a pie maker, I know my baking strengths and I don’t have the patience for pies, so when it comes to things of that nature, I turn to those who do it for a living. I made the mistake last year of ordering a Pumpkin Pie that was so bad, I refused to eat it. From the crust to the filling, it was one of the worst things you could ever possibly taste.

Pumpkin Pie is hard to screw up, it’s a pie I know how to make without a lot of effort, but I was exhausted last year and there would not have been pie at all if it were left up to me. I think I ordered four or five different pies between Thanksgiving and the end of last year, and the only ones worth eating were Caramel Apple Walnut & an amazing Chocolate Cream that was downright sinful (it took me two weeks to finish it, it must have weighed ten pounds!). All the others stunk, but the Caramel Apple Walnut is consistently good.

I eat fruit year round like it’s a sport, and I have an immense sweet tooth, so even though I had not previously thought about it, I am going to try to snag a Caramel Apple Walnut to cap off this year’s meal. Personally though, at least for myself, I’m thinking of making my awesome brownies. It will take me the next month and a half to eat them because they’re truly divine, and full of dark chocolately goodness and other healthy things that help reduce any issues one might have at eating a small chunk or two, but a lot will depend on how long it takes me to get the main course and the stuffing in the oven.

Fibromyalgia makes it virtually impossible for me to prepare a huge meal in a few hours like I used to, so I’m thinking I will prep the stuffing Wednesday since it’s not a long amount of prep work, and then do the main course and the salad on Thursday. Each takes less than 20 minutes, the oven does all the real work. If I have energy after that, brownies will be made. If not, I’ll settle for a tiny wedge of pie. However, I guarantee that pie will not see the light of day. It’ll come into the house tomorrow afternoon and by Thursday evening, the box will be in the trash. I have serious pie eaters here, they don’t mess around.

My only other real “plan” for Thanksgiving is to watch movies and read. I just want a nice meal and a relatively quiet day. Black Friday will be spent chasing newly acquired black kitten who is SO at home right now, it’s not even funny. Every day she learns something new and shows me a new trick. Yesterday it was the fact that, small as she is, she can open closed doors. I have to admit, I was impressed. Today she ran up and down the stairs like a mad woman, and every time I’d go to check on her, she’d go flying back up the stairs like she’d just committed a crime. If you saw the behavior on video, you’d crack up. It’s entertaining as hell. She doesn’t make a lot of noise, so when she meows, which she finally did Saturday, it is the cutest thing ever. She’s pretty possessive of me, but I don’t mind, except when she speeds after me, nearly knocking me down. She’s a little beast when it comes to following me when she wants to. She’s sound asleep, the next minute she’s right under my feet or bumping her head into my legs. She is the gift that keeps on giving, and I’m thankful that I decided to come from a place of yes and bring her home. She’s already helping me feel a lot better about certain things. I’ve had less headaches/migraines since she’s come home, which cannot be a coincidence. I’m calmer and more centered, and I am not yelling nearly as much as I normally do.

I am not gifting anyone anything this year, other than my love, loyalty, and friendship, and for some people, all three. I might treat myself to something small, but I really just want to survive the remainder of this year with my head above water, and move into a New Year where I can prosper.

I feel bad that I won’t technically be doing anything for Chanukah this year, which begins Thanksgiving night, and is my favorite of all the Jewish holidays. I have such great memories of the happiness of Chanukah that it makes me sad, but it’s also not about gifts. Right now, for me, it’s about remaining focused. I’m doing my best.

This year has taken huge chunks of my soul, but others things have been given back to me, like unconditional love, loyalty, confidence, respect, new friendships that I treasure, old friendships that are the untarnished Platinum in my life, and the knowledge that the more I grow, the more content I am with who I am and where I’m going. Nothing is set in stone, and I’m learning that every time someone tries to break me, I come back stronger from the trial.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, peaceful, happy, healthy, and safe holiday.


5 thoughts on “Thanksgiving

  1. I have what doctors THOUGHT was fibromyalgia which is Lyme Disease. I never went into remission so I still have fibro like pains all over. I just put up our Christmas decorations (minus ornaments on the tree) and I’m in HORRBILE pain. I needed to take a break.

    I agree stuffing is one of the best parts of a Thanksgiving meal (I eat every bite of Turkey with stuffing to give it some good flavor) and I think it’s hit below 22 degrees here…I love the way you write. It reminds me of my own writing style. Your post is making me really hungry by the way. I’m glad you’re doing your best to remain focused. And strong. I’m trying to do the same, and as the days have gone by this week the more focused I’ve been on getting back on the right track emotionally as well as physically.

    If you ever want to catch up via e-mail mine is I just feel bad I’m usually on my phone and can’t leave messages on blogs (rarely at a computer these days, schedule is just odd and my computer is half alive) and you’re one of 3 bloggers on wordpress I respect the most that I’ve met on here.

    Anyways enough embarassing myself,


  2. I’m missing out on Thanksgiving for the third time in a row so I’m feeling slightly wistful reading everyone’s Thanksgiving posts. Still, I’m not complaining (too much) since I’ll be back home in a little over two weeks. Now if only my projects/essays would write themselves….

    Wishing you a great Thanksgiving this year and please eat an extra piece of pie/chunk of brownie/whatever dessert you end up having. One of my flatmates said he was going to make pumpkin pie but given that we’re nearing the end of the term here with a lot of last-minute work, I’m not sure how much I should trust him to follow through lol.

    • As I said, I haven’t celebrated or cooked for Thanksgiving in a LONG time. I’m used to cooking for a throng of people, I come from a large extended immediate family, and now that almost everyone is gone, it’s a really low number and not only is it depressing, I also make way too much food. This will come in handy when I have kids, but right now it’s just annoying.

      Are you staying in London for the next two years or will you be going back & forth? I don’t know if you were ever really clear on that. I sort of assumed (which I hate doing) that you would be there for the duration.

      I lost my attention span when I shopped for Thanksgiving and came home with two pies and not a single ingredient for brownies. I can make them another time, right now it’s honestly more than I can handle. My regular functioning brain thinks she can conquer the world, whereas my body says “Don’t overdo it.”

      My issue with pumpkin pie is that none of them taste like my Mom’s. It’s the cinnamon to nutmeg ratio, a lot of people don’t make it the right way, so they ruin it. Plus, pie crusts are just plain disgusting 99% of the time. Even some bakeries have the most bizarre tasting pie crusts, which means I’m going to toss it the second I finish the filling. Or I’m simply going to taste it and damn near give it away to anyone willing to eat it. I simply refuse to eat anything that isn’t worthy of my taste buds. I’m super picky!

      You’ll be home soon, which means all your favorite foods will be readily available.

      Talk to you soon!! *hugs*

      • No, you’re right, I never did state explicitly how my school schedule is working out. I’ll be in London for the the majority of my first year but I’m definitely going home for Christmas break (in two weeks!). My program is actually a double degree program so I’ll be in Shanghai my second year and getting a degree there as well. So it’s a bit like doing two accelerated Master’s degrees if that makes sense.

        I’m totally the same when it comes to Thanksgiving shopping. Or food shopping for that matter. I can even go completely off my shopping list and it’s already hard enough to remember making a list in the first place.

      • Similar to my degree, minus the locations (I had the option of studying in Scotland, Italy, Germany, and/or Brazil. I had to pass because my father wad dying from a 15 year battle with cancer). I double majored and double minored for both of my degrees and I still have the option of getting my doctorate. That was my original goal, but since I don’t work in the field I studied in, and I don’t know that I ever will, I don’t feel a great necessity to have it right now. I also don’t have the energy or the time at the moment.

        I know you’ll be happy being home for the holidays. It’ll give you a respite from everything school related.

        Talk to you soon. *hugs*

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