Learning To Love Our Bodies
I’ve been meaning to share this blog for quite some time now. It breaks my heart that any child would ask if raisins are fattening. I openly admit to having an image problem, but I can tell you that it did not start until I left gymnastics and it didn’t begin at home. In fact, I never saw anything wrong with myself physically (except for obvious things that all girls find issue with at one time in their life or another) until people started pointing my flaws out left and right. All of a sudden, I was avoiding mirrors and wouldn’t purchase new clothes.
As women, we make this worse. Instead of building each other up, we tear each other down. It’s disgusting and I don’t want to be a part of that. If I think someone is beautiful, be it inner or outer beauty (occasionally it is both, but not all the time,), then I find absolutely nothing wrong with saying it. That doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with them, it simply means I’m not blind.
Zero and Double Zero are not sizes, even if that’s your “natural weight”. It should not be anyone’s goal of perfection because perfection is an illusion. Be yourself. Be comfortable in the skin you’re in because you’re going to be in that skin for a very long time. Be kind to yourself and try to achieve self-acceptance, because it’s so much easier than “perfection”.
I think women can be so mean to each other. Dress sizes don’t make a real woman – the size of her heart does. This is a very important and positive message Lisa, and I wish we all could be comfortable in our skin and support one another instead of trying to tear the other person down.
You are 100% correct in how mean women can be to each other. It might start off as a snarky little comment, we’ve all received them, but absolute tear downs are unacceptable in my eyes. I try to always let my female friends know when they look great or that I think they’re pretty, etc. I would never say “You look like crap. Have you gained weight?” or anything negative like that because I’ve been hassled for every single possible thing for so many years and it cuts me to the core because 90% of the comments have come from women I trusted and respected.
I agree with you, your clothing size doesn’t mean anything. If you’re not a good person, no one is going to want to be around you, period. I feel this way about guys too. The hottest guy in the world might also be the world’s biggest asshole, and no one is worth that kind of aggravation. A pretty face only gets you so far. It takes me less than a minute to suss that kind of crap out, after that, he’d better have a brain and a sense of humor.
I think being comfortable in your own skin takes time, and sometimes it really just takes getting older. I’m trying so hard, but there’s always a woman around the corner looking to criticize me or someone making some comment where you sit and think to yourself “I just killed myself to get to this weight, and that’s not good enough for you?” Unless I’m calm, my general reaction is “If you don’t like it, don’t look.” (And to be honest, Fuck You is usually the first thing I think when someone acts that way towards me and doesn’t know a thing about me.) I’m not running around in a bikini as if its Brazil, I’m in jeans and t-shirts living my life, doing my best, and I’m not living my life to impress anyone.
I definitely value people as a whole. Heart, loyalty, friendship, sense of humor, etc. The rest is just genetics. We are all physically built differently.
I cringe when people call 120 pound girls or women obese. It just kills a little piece of my soul every time I hear it, and I hear it often. It makes me so angry that people get it into their heads that starvation is the only answer to be perfect in someone else’s eyes. I care what I think about myself, but I don’t care what other people think, but I’ll be damned if someone tells a tiny little woman in front of me how fat she is. You’ll hear about it on the news by the time I’m done with them, I kid you not!