Sorry For The Silence

I know I’ve been pretty silent these last few weeks. For one, I haven’t had a whole lot to say. I’m very in my own head right now. Sometime Thursday night into Friday morning, I did something to my neck and aggravated my neck and shoulders. I thought icing it up and getting some rest would help, I went out of my way Friday and today to avoid excessive stress, but it has progressively gotten worse, so I am strongly considering another ER visit, this time to a different hospital, because I’m afraid that partial paralysis is setting in from the neck up. The hospital I went to previously doesn’t have the necessary equipment (an ER with no MRI machine?! REALLY?! I’ve NEVER heard of that before, not ever.), which is extremely odd to me, but hey, that’s probably why I never have to spend time in their waiting room for more than three minutes! I can turn my body if you’re talking to me, but I can’t turn my neck because of the excruciating pain and the simple fact that it jerks itself back with a giant NO. The pain medicine isn’t working, and I don’t want to risk taking something that could make me sick again, so if this is still the same, off I go. At the very least, maybe they’ll be able to tell me what’s wrong since no one else has had any answers for me in the past three years. Plus, a prescription for muscle relaxers right now would seriously be my saving grace. You know things are bad when muscle relaxers are really the only thing that help you heal. I have an allergy, so I can’t take anti-inflammatory meds, and like I said, my neck is not responding to the pain meds. I don’t want this to get worse, obviously, but I think a stupid part of me is expecting it to heal a little on its own with lower stress and rest. The truth is, I’m tired of going through this shit all alone. It’s hard to psych yourself up for medical help when you have no idea what the end result will be, and how you’ll be able to handle it afterward.

In the meantime, I’m going to apply some arnica and try going to bed. I could do worse.

4 thoughts on “Sorry For The Silence

  1. I think I reply on behalf of most of us. WE are sorry that you are doing so bad. And yet you always stay in touch. Most folks would have shut themselves away entirely. Heartfelt get well wishes hon. XOXOXO.

  2. I’ll survive, it’s just extremely painful. I’m using heat now instead of icing it, which helps loosen it up a bit, but it also means re-heating the pad all day, and I mean hourly. I can’t sit, stand, lay down, etc. It’s so uncomfortable.

  3. That’s my friend “I will survive!” Please keep me posted on ER visit and if you don’t go, how you are feeling. Hugs!

    • Honestly, I’m sick of saying it. It might be the truth, but it’s not like I’m having the time of my life in pain, ya know?
      I’m going to give my neck a little more time, as it’s feeling a little better right now and is finally responding to heat and medicine. I can turn my head to the right, but the left is still not a go. I’d think it was a pinched nerve, if I hadn’t already been checked for them and had none, so this is frustrating. I’ve definitely experienced this partial paralysis before at times, but it’s scary when it’s on the left side of your body and moves into your arm and leg at will. I didn’t do anything to cause it to flare up, but hours before it started I received some news that really upset me, I was stressed out and very unfocused, and then I got angry later on, as I tried focusing on the news that upset me, so that might have been all it needed as an excuse to act up. We never know what will cause our pain to worsen, but stress is definitely a key factor. I’d like to avoid the ER if at all possible, but I will definitely go if I have no other alternative. My PCP would only send me somewhere for testing and probably “prescribe” physical therapy. I have NO idea why they think this is where they should be sending me when I have a flare-up like this and can’t move around, but it always comes up. It only makes things worse, and aggravates me, so it’s not like seeing him would help. Plus, he’s the moron that took me off the muscle relaxers in the first place, so I honestly couldn’t muster up the ability to be polite to him for 10 minutes. Sometimes it’s better to go to someone who doesn’t have some preconceived notion of you. My PCP is NOT a fan of chronic pain or Fibromyalgia patients. He’s got an immense stick up his ass about it and will refuse to treat people if they have it, so I don’t have a lot of respect for that kind of attitude, or him. It’s not what I need and yes, I will be changing PCP’s as soon as I can find one. My list of priorities right now isn’t so much doctor related as it is a day-to-day feeling.
      I’ll keep you posted. In fact, you’ll probably be getting an e-mail from me at some point.
      Take care of yourself. *Hugs*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s