Dear Mother Nature,
When you allow your meteorologists to predict rain that does not fall, and they also predict 50 degree temperatures that turn out to be more like 70 degrees, I do not appreciate it. My bones and muscles cannot tolerate the constant back and forth, and my head can’t stand the upswing in noise that warmer weather brings out of others. My newfound allergies can’t handle your bizarre changes that increase the pollen count to the point where I can’t breathe, and I don’t have breathing problems, so this is especially irritating. Pick a season, stick with it, that way I can leave the air on, or the heat, as opposed to going back and forth. Also, I would appreciate some cool rain to come out of nowhere to stifle the 70+ degree temps that are predicted for the next 7 days. I am sure you will hear from me again as it continues to “heat up”. You know how I hate the summer. It’s evil, unnatural, and makes me hibernate with enormous cups of ice and multiple bottles of iced tea and Polar Seltzer (Shameless plug! If anyone finds the new flavors, let me know how they are.). My body wasn’t meant to tolerate temperatures over 65 degrees.
Please consider my issues and I’ll try to leave you some chocolate during the next Full Moon.